Nokatay Blog

How to Drive Your Neighbor Nuts!(If you haven't already.)06/24/2008

For this article I'm going to call my across the street neighbor Dennis. That's because his real name is Dennis.
He'll like the notoriety.
Dennis keeps the best looking lawn in the neighborhood. That's because he's retired, quit drinking and has an Apple computer with AOL dial-up. So he has time to do things while the computer logs on. Like mow the lawn.
One particular week, for some reason, Dennis let the grass grow particularly long. He would normally mow it often, so that the clippings would not leave trail after the mower. This time the grass clippings were piling up after the riding mower like seaweed on the shore after a Sou'Easter.
As Dennis was piloting the mower around the back of the house I moseyed (I know how to mosey) in through the front gate of his neat white picket fence and sat on the side steps waiting for him to make it around the corner of the house to the front yard. Apparently I hadn't latched the gate and it was left in the open position. Just plain too lazy to mosey on back I left it.
As Dennis made his way to the front yard, along the fence, carefully watching how close he was to the fence, and monitoring his clippings trail he didn't even notice me on the stairs. He did see the open gate just in time to give it a little kick closed so the mower could slide on by. He made the next turn and roared into the back yard for another lap. Sitting there waiting for him to return to the homestretch I got an idea, I got up and opened the gate again.
After what seemed like an awfully long time (it's always an awfully long time when you're waiting for the payoff of a prank to happen) he finally made it back to the fence and as he neared the gate he gave it a double take and a snarl and gave it a swifter kick than before, made the turn to the back yard and still hadn't seen me on the stairs.
Well if something works good twice, three times has gotta' be the charm, so now buoyed by impish energy I got up off the stairs and opened the gate one more time.
Again Dennis came around the corner after what seemed an eternity, and cruised past the gate but this time he didn't give a kick.
That seemed to ruin the whole ploy. Until I got up and closed the gate. Curious as to his reaction this time, I waited on the stairs once more.
Again, he rounded the corner, neared the gate and I saw his gaze fixed on the gate and he stopped, staring at it. That's when I started laughing and moving about on the stairs and he finally saw me.
"I thought I was goin' crazy." he said, about the open- closed gate.
Dennis was the victim of another one of my pranks over a few days. His property has a large open yard next to the house with a workshop at the back of the yard. He backs his truck up to the shed to load and unload tools and materials there. To make it a little easier at night, Dennis bought some plastic orange reflectors on a stick to place in the ground to outline sort of driveway. Seeing this I gave him a few nights to get accustomed to backing in using them. Then I went over and moved them in a few inches closer one night. Then a few inches closer the next night. The third night I moved them several feet OUT.
The next morning when I looked out of the window I had forgotten about moving the reflectors but seeing Dennis' truck reminded me. Because he had gotten accustomed to them guiding him in the dark and me moving them outward they couldn't be see in his mirrors. The truck was parked nearly sideways in the middle of the field!
I ran into Dennis later in the day and asked if he had been drinking last night because of the way he had parked. Immediately he stiffened up and said, "Yeah, were you playing with my reflectors?"
Putting on my best confused look I asked "What are you talking about?"
"Oh, never mind", he said.
Later on I copped to the migrating reflector deal. Even though he was a little peeved he seemed relieved it wasn't just due to his driving skills.
I wonder what 2008 will bring?